Thursday, January 8, 2009

demons always chase me......


demons!!!!!.......no way....m not talking about d real ones......i dont know if dey exist or not.......

m just talking about d dreams i always have........d nightmares dat always scare  me.........
last nyt nite i cudnt sleep.......i saw so many thngs ....i saw dose devils dancing in front of my eyes....i felt as being covered by some black cloak instead of my blanket.......i cud see d images of wings thru my mosquito net........
i feel like dat devil sitting over my chest and choking me.....i  tried to use my hand,hoping to tuch dem.....but i felt nthng.....
dont know what will happen tonite....but i really dont want to sleep........i m really scared now....

every night i sleep......new sets of dreams comes to me........i feel like as being stripped of lyf....
i feel like cold and dere is never gonna be happiness again in ma lyf.........
i feel like m so alone.....dat haunts me a lot........
i wish i cud have sm1 wid me at dat time
i wish u cud have seen me,wat m goin thru
i wish GOD stops bitching me 
i wish HE stops assaulting me
i wish HE remembers that m just a human
i wish HE understands,i also cry...feel hurt
i wish HE stops filling my ways with hardships
i wish HE stops giving me short term fun.....bcz once gone.....it hurts a lot....

i wish i cud grab my achievement so hard
can u grab handful of water in your hands tightly????no u cant.....it always slips away 4m u.....nd tell u what.....datz wat my lyf is all about.......
i cant enjoy like others
i cant  celebrate
i cant go to a restaurant with my parents
bcz i know HE is watching me........and he never tolerates me being happy.......nd sends HIS demons to chase me down.......

wenever i try 2 see d other side of my bed...no1 is dere with me.....
i m thirsty of just one night full of sweet dreams.....i wanna feel happy,playing like a 2 year old kid.....i wanna enjoy the greenery of forests.......i wanna enjoy.......tell u what......i m talking nonsense........there is no point of talking what i want.........bcz i know dat will never happen.......
so ryt now i am preparing myself for tonight......
i wish a day will come,when dey will stop following me........