Saturday, March 5, 2011

Fuck that man...

why is it that after breaking up,everywhere i put my eyes on,i feel love.
what the hell man.....earlier feeling love was the like God's gift to me and now i feel like as if zeus has put a curse on me.

I can feel it ,but i am not enjoying it anymore.I feel so pain now.I used to be happy but now i cant stop myself from shedding tears.Why on earth i am crying at all,its just a fucking love...i had it but now its gone,so get over it dude.I used to love romantic movies but it gets excruciating to watch them making love.

Its really strange to experience coin of side heals you and takes all your pain while the other side fucks you so badly,you may loose all your senses.....

I used to write poems on love but now i fucking hate that...why man why???
What is happening to me?I loved love but don't what mechanism is going in my mind that prompts me to just ignore it.........

I want to say that "i am happy because you are happy...",i have heard people saying that after breakups.....but what i think is,this is bullshit man..........nobody can see his/her ex hanging out with anyone else....i don't want her to get married with some schmuck....!!!!
i know she loves me more than me.....she devoted herself for loving me the whole time.....

I know she will miss me......oh God,i can't see anyone else touching her....just the thought of it tears me apart just cuts me into thousands of pieces......

I love her and will always be loving her.....!!!!

I pray to bhagwanji...please bhagwanji don't make another earth......if you do that,life will evolve and so the creatures like us.....they may not look like us but they will again grow intelligence with time and divide the society into different castes....i just don't want my alien abhi to go through like the way i am feeling now.....

One planet is enough to deal with this shit.....

and one more thing i wish for is......whenever i feel she is going to get married with another guy,i feel pain in my heart......God should stop making hearts,instead we can use some sort hydraulic system to pump blood but no more heart sucks man,ya it sucks.....

so lonely...!!!!

i have my lovely parents with me,i have my best mates always ready to hear me,but i can't show them my intense grief continuously burning my soul like hell.

The air i breathe in is like venom to me now.Marrying her has always been an iffy for me.I alwyas knew that,but i ignored it.She has always been skeptical about us(getting together).
Come on abhi she was just trying to be practical and you knucklehead always tried to prove her wrong.
What could i do,i loved her,i loved her like i have found the jug of immortality.Yes she was and will always be the love of my life.Human is selfish and i am the biggest of all.
I am selfish for love,true love.She gave me that chance and i blew it.

"I am so lonely mom,i want to rest myself on your arms and cry whole night;you know why?because today somebody has taken her away from me.No matter how hard i try ,i am not going to get her back.She is gone,ya....she is gone forever"

I am sitting on my bed scribbling this shit on my blog,all i am thinking is her.

I am missing you baby,i miss you so much.
I am missing the shine of your eyes.
I am missing the desperateness of your eyes to hold me.
I am missing the first time you held my arm.

Tujhe malum hai na,mai kitna ghabra jata tha jab tu mere saamne aati thi....I am missing that also.You had always given me goosebumps.I had never felt that way like i felt the ambience of surroundings in your presence.