love is addiction...

9th january,2010 was the day when i touched the divine soul of my life,the soul that lives in her but has always been a part of me.

7th february,2011 was the day darkest day of my life,this was the day when half of my soul had left me forever,yes she is gone forever.

the only person responsible is me,i am the one who broke her heart.

i never respected her love,i always felt she loves me,but the truth is she has always been in love with me since i was born.i could say that,she had been in love with me from the time i was born.

my destiny has always been her,but i ....... yes i....only me,who killed her,pierced her to the bottom of her heart.

she can never be so alive again because i have dumped her,

she won't smile again because i have touched her lips,

she won't trust again because i have been a part of her life.

He shall never forgive me because i have just broken the heart of one of the sweetest daughters of Him.

she tries to be angry on me but i do know she hurts herself whenever she does that.

i only gave her sleepless nights and restless days.

i am sorry baby,i am really sorry for that...for not being the best love of your life.

i have always loved you baby and for the rest of my life i will keep loving you because you are the only reason,i felt LOVE.

LOVE is beautiful,its the best gift He can ever give to any person in the whole universe.

i wish ,if u can forgive me....i don't deserve that but still i am hoping for that.

if God gives me another life,i wish we don't meet again because i can't see tears on your eyes.

i can't hurt u baby...because i love u....i love u very much.....oh God please,for the sake of love,

please let people understand love......

mujhko jeena hai....chahe khud ke liye hi na sahi....

"may be your dream is not fulfilled...may be u haven't got the thing you have desired.......but you can help others to fulfill their dreams......live your life for others and you will find peace in your soul......u can dodge the pain of fire of your unfulfilled desire or love......:)"

CLOSE TO MY HEART.......:)

me + ashish + aman = a precious gem...:)


i must write this,i have to write this and i should....


we three met on august 2005 and since then we have been together......
the journey has been full of fun,assignments,bunks,ogling @ hawttys,rating girls,semesters,struggle,achievements,emotional breakdowns,failures.....more failures than success but still we 3 were always together......

when i was a kid i din have lot of friends actually i din have friends.....i used to play with a bunch of kids,but everyone in them actually always wanted something from me......i used to bring my bat so that i could play with them....i mean there always was some kind of give and take....i was funny thats y they always wanted to be with me.....but the thing was i had to keep smiling all the time even when i was in pain.....cuz i din want to loose them....i mean i cudnt share with them......but then there was this girl.....we used to look each other most of the times during classes......there was something different in her eyes....i guess she cared for me,that i never saw in any of my friends.......but suddenly she got transferred and i missed those caring eyes very much.....but now i see the same glow in the eyes of my two buddies....:)


for the 1st 2 yrs we weren't that close,i mean we were frnds but as compared to today,i know i have got another family in them....:)

there is nothing that can separate us.....but career is something that has made different routes for us and we have to go in order to survive.........

we share everything.....i mean everything.......except underwears we share everything lol....:P....


yesterday i got the 2nd most beautiful gift of my life....1st was ME COMING TO THIS WORld(thanks to my parents)......i got a framed picture of three of us together.....its precious to me !!!!

bas bahut hua....emotional nahi banna muje....cuz big boys dont cry....only girls cry ...lol..:P....

all the best to ashish ,aman,and abhishek.......:)

need some peace....!!!!

my last post was on 30th aug 2009.......

2day is 21st sept 2009......a huge gap b/w my posts.

i had nothing in my mind to write about........it has been over 10 months since she left......

she was a gud frnd,had many things in common b/w us.....i appreciate those moments i had spent with her......

people say opposites attract....i used to think like that.....but in case of "worth to die for" kind a relationship,the rule of magnetism doesnt apply.........

we dont talk anymore.......i dont know where she is.....but i wish she gets whatever she wishes for.......

"i need a GRAVE to RIP....but can't,got many responsibilties and 'm not a looser...."....:)


ps: listening to "yaroo dosti badi haseen hai....by KK..."

finally dot dot dot......

me : i m sorry

she : srry???.....ahem(waits for few seconds)....for what??

(i think she knows )

me : for that day....

she : which day.....(giggles)

me : come on....do u have any idea how much this is hard for me to do that....??!!!!

she : heyyyyyyy.......shut up abhi.......i dint ask u 2 call me @ this hour of time and i need to go to clg 2morro......tell me na....plzzzzz....

(she sounded stupid.........she enjoys  torturing me)

me : ok....i m sorry......now bye....jai shri krishna....

she : idiot!!!!!!.......miss you.....jai shri krishna....

 

ps: abhi ...what abhi.....go and watch hangover again .......she sounded nice, so just relax dude....

understanding the existence of life.....part 1

everyday i wake up....looks on my palm,chants GOD's name......takes shower and pray to GOD to bless me with the power to forgive myself.I can hide my sins from others but when l look on the mirror,i can see the guilt on my face.....

i do sins everyday knowingly or unknowingly.......may look simple to me but when i put their bits and pieces altogether,i realise what i have done.....

GOD gives me loan everday asking no pay back.....but that's not how it goes,i have to pay for my deeds.There is no way i can get away with that.....HE will litigate me and i am gonna have to pay for all my sordid behaviours.

I must know or find the reason for me to be here......i can't keep on doing what i am pursuing right now,i have to solve the puzzle of my EXISTENCE in this HOLY world....

I often ask myself......who am i??....what am i doing here??....who made this world??.....who made me??....there are so many people around here,why can't i exist in them too??......

can i have two souls??.....these spooky questions often bewilder me and confuse me.

If GOD exists,why do i have to suffer so much??.....why can't i have access to a life full of excitement and fun...??....why do i have to go through different  ordeals of life...???....

BECAUSE without suffering there can't be any compassion.....we all will be ignorant of the different facts and figures......

the ability of me  to break,analyse and re create things will make me different from others.....this can only come when i know my very purpose of existence.......the purpose of my visit to LIFE....!!!

the hangover......!!!

i am totally whacked out after watching this shit.......

is this really las vegas......??.....ahha thats y my cousin was avoiding bhabhi while i was asking about the casinos and bars.

ummmmm.....m pretty sure,he must have visited the strip clubs.......he is d biggest ass i can think of and a real PLAYER,who once did three timings.....!!!

hey is it really bad in checking out girls??....i dont think so......

ok....now m getting back to the movie....its a must watch movie guys.....

dont know about the dudettes but dudes are gonna love it......this movie can "spin your head right round all round",as FLO RIDA says.....

that tiger part inside loo was pretty awesome......the sight of a tiger while peeing can beat the shit out of anybody....what if the tiggy jumps on your @#$%&,o yeah that will be a nightmare......lolzzzz

oh come on how can i miss the wedding part......marrying a stripper for one night,oh bouy that should never ever happen to anybody........i hope that dint happen wid my cousin....."who cares even if it had happened",this wud have  been his answer had i asked him.

you are an idiot if u are still reading my post..........just go yaar and enjoy the movie.....!!!!!